Thursday 30 March 2017


The Surprise      


            I had come from school and no one was home, my mom and dad were at work and my older sister was going to work straight from school.


            I had a lot of homework so I quickly had a granola bar and I took my bag to the study room.


            I saw a brown box,

            “Yes, my package is here!” I said in an anxious voice.


            I tore it open.  I got worried, nothing was in the box.  Just as I took off the last layer of bubble wrap and I was surprised to see more than what I ordered.



            I had just ordered for a beautiful camera but this box had 3 phones, a pair of headphones, a gaming console and a wireless speaker. 


            It was really hard to believe.  I was very happy.

1 comment:

  1. Nice story but in your very first sentence, you need a period in between home and my. Also in the sentence " I had a a lot homework so I quickly..." you need a period between homework and so. Lastly you don't need an I for the sentence "I had a lot of homework so I quickly had a granola bar and I took my bag to the study room" so it should say "I had a lot of homework so I quickly had a gornola bar and took my bag to the study room" Other than that great story

    ReplyDelete