It was Friday and Ryan, was determined to find his iPod. He had now lost it for two weeks. He looked
everywhere but he could not find it. First he looked in his bed room and he could
not find it there so then he looked under his bed and gingerly took out his noxious socks. However he still did not find his iPod. So then he
went to his closet and took out his baggy yellow pants. Which he had worn two weeks ago and
inside its pockets he discovered his remarkable iPod, all safe and sound.
for your first sentence. i think you should change it to, "IT was Friday, Ryan was determined to find his IPod."
ReplyDeleteThis is a good story but you should have talked about how he also lost his ipod.
ReplyDeleteHarry potter you don't need the quotation marks when you say, it was Friday ect... unless someone is talking and the person who says that is not a character who speaks.
ReplyDeleteyou should change It was Friday and today Ryan, had determined to find his iPod. to It was Friday and Ryan was determined to find his ipod
ReplyDelete