The Unknown Pot
It was a nice humid afternoon, in the Atlantic Ocean. And a boy named Jake had gone fishing. Jake gets caught in a massive rainstorm. And gets lost, but sees land. He paddles his boat, and reaches land. Jake takes a tour around the land. And sees a beautiful garden. Which has a large red pot with a pattern, in black. And a face with two oval eyes, a mouth, and a long nose. And legs sticking out, striped in red, green and blue. Jake had a lot of questions. So he decided to take a closer look. And all he saw was pure black darkness.
I think you should join your second sentence and third sentence together.
ReplyDeleteAlso, your fifth and sixth, seventh eighth and ninth, and your last two sentences.
I think you should make the fount bigger.
ReplyDeletethank you. for editing/commenting.
ReplyDeleteI think you should start with something other than once upon a time maybe It was a nice humid afternoon. Just a suggestion.
ReplyDeletethank you MJ
ReplyDelete