Tuesday 22 November 2016


The Unknown Pot




 It was a nice humid afternoon, in the Atlantic Ocean. And a boy named Jake had gone fishing.  Jake gets caught in a massive rainstorm.  And gets lost, but sees land.  He paddles his boat, and reaches land.  Jake takes a tour around the land.  And sees a beautiful garden.  Which has a large red pot with a pattern, in black.  And a face with two oval eyes, a mouth, and a long nose.  And legs sticking out, striped in red, green and blue.  Jake had a lot of questions.  So he decided to take a closer look.  And all he saw was pure black darkness.
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5 comments:

  1. HarryPotter23 November 2016 at 09:02

    I think you should join your second sentence and third sentence together.
    Also, your fifth and sixth, seventh eighth and ninth, and your last two sentences.

    ReplyDelete
  2. MJ23 November 2016 at 09:18

    I think you should make the fount bigger.

    ReplyDelete
  3. 100wcbyfread.com24 November 2016 at 16:35

    thank you. for editing/commenting.

    ReplyDelete
  4. MJ24 November 2016 at 17:21

    I think you should start with something other than once upon a time maybe It was a nice humid afternoon. Just a suggestion.

    ReplyDelete
  5. 100wcbyfread.com25 November 2016 at 08:34

    thank you MJ

    ReplyDelete

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